Off the wagon

So I fell of the bandwagon again. I've got a lot on my plate, very stressed (and will be probably until next year).

I'm not giving up on my missing but yeah, that's the update.

Grumpy

So I kinda weighed in last week ... I forgot completely on both Wed and Thur so I weighed in on Friday but it was after I'd got dressed for work and I didn't have time to change.

So that weight came in at 95.7kgs (which you may remember is the same as last week).

I spent the whole weekend and the start of this week seriously down about it. There were other stressors in my life as well, but still.

I was catered for and had little choice about my food choices on both Thur and Friy. By Tues the cravings had got to me and I was just upset that I wasn't losing weight.

I really really really want/need to!! OMG I seriously do.

I think I'm slowly coming to realise just how big I am

Oh another compounding factor is Monday I received some clothed I'd bought offline and they made me look even more humungous.

I really am big.

I had no idea.

So Tuesday I had four saladas with peanut butter and butter.

I knew I was emotionally eating but when you don't think eating well is getting  you anywhere, where does the resolve come from?

Anyway Wed morning I weighed in at 94.3kgs.

I'm feeling better and able to keep my resolve.

I still feel at a complete loss about how to get this weight off if eating healthy isn't doing it (probably my yo-yo'ing in the past has caused some metabolic damage).

Anyway, I'm on plan.

I feel huge, my clothes are tight and I'm getting bouts of nausea.

No, I'm not pregnant (I wish I were).

I don't know what's causing the nausea.

Maybe I have worms?

Anyway that's the update. I'm upset my online purchases turned to sh** (including the shoes because the eBay seller says it's my fault she didn't get her sizes right) and I'm upset I'm still fat.

Weigh in

Weighed in this morning at 95.7kgs. It's always higher the first week cleaning the glycogen out so the true weigh ins will start from next week.

Day 1

So it's started. I've had a good breakfast of curried eggs with sour cream. It's only 8.52am and I'm already experiencing carb cravings.

I don't mind experiencing cravings, because I figure I have to pay a price for eating badly, and this is one of them (others would be being fat and diminishing the health of my body).

I weighed in at 97.7kgs this morning. At least I'm not over 100kgs.

I noticed my weigh-in in January was just over 90kgs so I'm going to focus on getting back to that as my mini-goal.

It's going to be tough, I have lunch with the girls on Saturday and a big function on Tuesday and those are often reason enough for me to put off starting healthy eating. But that really is ridiculous. I can either work around it for that day, or sacrifice one meal. Either way getting started now is better than putting it off.

Oh I didn't tell you I went shopping on Monday with a personal stylist! I have never had a personal stylist before, but I totally need one. Shopping has never been a favourite pass-time for me. I was a little put off by the fact that the stylist said I should have given prior notice about my size before we embarked on our shopping trip.

... I know I'm heavy but I must be compact because I don't need to shop in plus-size stores...

The stylist was plus-size herself (and looked absolutely amazing!) so I guess I can cut her some slack on her comment.

It still rings in my mind though.

Making a Start

So I'm trying to force myself a make a start.

I've made myself two breakfasts (curried egg with sour cream), two lunches (tuna patties with caesar dressing) and three or four dinners (two shepherd's pies).

So tomorrow I have to force myself to start. I just have to. Magical motivation hasn't happened by itself.

Magic 8 Ball

So I asked the magic 8 ball yesterday about quite a few key areas in my life.

I was told my current partner is 'most likely' my soulmate, I am likely to get the new job I applied for an I will 'certainly' lose a decent amount of weight in the next 12 months.

Wooot!

Now to set about achieving it.

Will it ever end?

Still going... trying to find that "magic bullet".

What about this for an affirmation - "I only eat food when I'm hungry". "I enjoy the effort of cooking weight loss meals".

I have tried affirmations of enjoying cooking food in general, but it hasn't helped with the weight loss things at all. These might be more successful? Time will tell.

"Being fat is what happens when one does nothing. Being skinny is what happens when one puts in effort" ~ Me

(This is at least true for people like me - fat through no reason other than bad eating)

I'm sure I've mentioned it before ... I think I'm fat for psychological reasons. It's not a habit of over-eating. It's not a physical craving for junk. I actively choose it. I'm not compelled in any way, to over-eat, to choose bad food, or anything. I have no physical desire for anything that's rubbish - eg. although I drink coffee, I could function perfectly well without it. I could also function perfectly well without chocolate and almost any other thing you can think of that people have as food-crutches.

So, it's a choice. It's actually quite a conscious choice. I think sometimes if it were unconscious, it would be easier to deal with.

So why do I choose it?

This is so complicated.

My current theory (which I may or may not have mentioned before, I'm often repeating myself) is that I have this silly belief that there are less expectations of a fat person. So if I'm fat, people won't hold me up to a particularly high standard and therefore failure isn't a huge issue.

Keeping oneself down to avoid failure is depressing. I don't want to do that.

Then I wonder, maybe I'm keeping myself down so I don't outshine my friends and make them feel inferior.

I've been actively trying to work around these behaviours and it seems to be working, but it's not showing in my weight. I'm still fat, and I'm staying that way. But why? I don't want to be huge. I don't want to been seen as an incompetent slob. I don't want to be seen as lazy.

I do like that when I'm at the gym, others in the classes are impressed by my efforts because I'm usually up to the same dumbbells as the others in the class (or heavier). I like being able to impress people just by the way I look. The other side of the coin could be that my performance at the gym can motivate others ... "if the fat girl can lift that weight, I should be able to"... which again, is holding yourself back for others.

Questions

 From Craigharper.com.au

A Question of Change
If you’re serious about changing your body, and more importantly, keeping it that way, below you’ll find some relevant, valuable and potentially-transformational questions. They are the type of questions that I ask anyone who comes to me for coaching in this area. Keep in mind that transformation lives in the doing, not just the knowing, so if you’re in need of a physical overhaul, or maybe just a few minor modifications , take some time to answer the following thoughtfully and courageously.

• What do you want your body to look, feel and function like one year from today (be specific)?
• What do you need to do practically, to make your goal a reality?
• What happens once your motivation subsides (it will)?
• What happened last time you tried to change your body?
• Why and how will it be different this time (if nothing changes, nothing changes)?
• What’s your optimal exercise strategy (based on your genetics, age, goals, fitness, injuries, etc.)?
• What’s one simple thing (that will make a difference) that you can change today?
• What happened over the last 365 days (with your body)? Why?
• Are you genuinely prepared to do the work (and to keep doing it), or do you just like ‘the idea’ of a different body?
• Do you need to change your relationship with food? If so, how?
• Do you have an accountability system? If so, what is it?
• When it comes to the practical change-your-body variables (food, lifestyle, exercise, time management), what are your ‘non-negotiables’?

As I’ve said many times before on this site, when we ask better questions and we’re genuinely committed to change, we make better decisions, do better things, produce better results and our reality shifts.


Statistically, we know that, despite their conversations, declarations and intentions, most people won’t improve their health or fitness over the next year. Some will, most won’t. Of course, they can change and they want to change, but sadly, they won’t. Like the majority of our ever-expanding population, some will continue to get on and off the weight-loss merry-go-round, all the while complaining about their genetics, the weather, their sore ankle, their limited time and their exhausting schedule.


And then they’ll wake up and it will be July 2013.

So let's see...

• I want my body to look presentable in all situations, feel tighter (not like I have width), and function so that it does everything I ask of it (which thankfully it does at the moment)
• I need to eat better
• I find ways to justify going off-track
• I felt very optimistic about the track I was on when I was on it, when I was aiming for my goal. Negatives though: I felt self-conscious about people noticing the change. To me, that's kind of like pointing out how bad I look, rather than a compliment
• Hmmmm
• Weight lifting... sadly my current gym is not so well set up for weight lifting. They do cardio and resistance, but not actual weights. And I don't often get pushed to lift/move heavier...
• Today? Go to bed at a reasonable hour
• I gained over 10kgs back, that took me 6 months to lose. Why? Because I aimed to be presentable by my birthday and I achieved that
• I'm worried I think I just like 'the idea'
• Yes I think I do. I have learned I don't really like to eat full meals. I like to graze throughout the day, which lends itself best to junk food. If I don't graze, I skip meals. That means I starve and then eat whatever is around and justify it mentally by being starving
• No I don't. Should I have and accountability system??
• My not negotiables... no weighing of food. Maybe every once in a while, but not long term

As I went to open this screen to write a new post, the cats went into overdrive about the noises they can hear. Apparently there's something outside they don't like the sound of. Anyway...

I weighed in on Wednesday and the scales read 91.2kgs, so that's an improvement on last week.

I was hoping losing 10kgs in 10days was possible, but it's not lol. Not without harming my body in the process anyway. So, at this weight, I am going on a personal shopping trip on Monday to buy some new outfits. I don't want to buy too much in case they don't fit in 6months time, but I'm looking forward to the trip all the same. Who knows, maybe we'll only go to shops that stock smaller sizes and there wont be anything for me. It'll make me feel like crap but my bank balance will say "Thank You!"

I'm still living busy, and will be until the end of the year when my course is finished. I'm completely determined to get this thing done. I have to! No more dropping out because I can't be bothered anymore.
Had a Mexican-bowl for breakfast this morning (cooked beef with onion and burrito spices, then in the bowl top with salsa, cheese and sour cream). I always seem to lose weight eating that.

Had curried eggs for dinner last night (mashed boiled eggs with the lowest carb mayo I could find and some curry powder). Had about 3-4 eggs worth of the mixture. That was more than enough. Can anyone say 'cheap' AND 'healthy'? :)

Still kicking

Well I'm still here, still kicking. I've spent the last two months undoing a bunch of my good work, but I'm here to undo the undoing ;)

I came in at 92.7kgs this morning.

Today I've been eating ok, the cravings are HUGE though. And you know the worst thing about them? I'm having such a hard time telling the difference between carb cravings and genuine hunger. Life update - I enrolled in a double diploma so got a bit on my plate with that, meeting with builders to get my house built, and I also got the VPE role with Toastmasters. So I'm busy as!!

Also, I have no money, so I've challenged myself not to spend any money this month. It's not working very well - in the day two days I've got the water bill, I apparently need four new tyres (had a flat) and engineering for the house I'm trying to build. It sucks. I've cancelled my grooming appointments (spray tans, etc) and am beating myself up that I didn't give myself this challenge earlier.

Readiness for Change

"I always talk about readiness for change. People commit to change for different reasons, I'm talking about four stages of readiness. But somebody who is really ready for change when they're at Stage 1. And that Stage 1 is when they are so sick to death of what is plaguing them that they wont put up with it for one more second of one more minute of one more hour of one more day. They are so sick of it that no matter how scary it looks on the other side, screw that, I am through with this. I cannot and will not put up with this another day in my life. And when you claim that position, that's when you change. Is this that moment for you?" ~ Dr Phil

Great weekend!

Well my birthday went off fantastic on Saturday. I could have made just one improvement, and that would be not to have a stupid red eye develop in the morning of and last until the following morning :(

... the only thing I can't fix, is a red eye (that's not caused by being dry, so drops don't help)...

But other than that, a fantastic night. I thought I looked pretty spesh and I got compliments all night. I bought myself a pair of jeans and a night grey print top with dimontes. I felt great.

I also bought myself the best cake I could find myself. One of my presents to myself is buying a cake that I really like, I'm sick of average cakes. How many average-tasting cakes do we eat just because? So I splashed out... way over $100 ... eek!

So the update since my big day is that I've lost a bit of drive to lose weight. I mean it's still there, but I've found I'm having a few junk food days. I will be having a family birthday celebration (last weekend was for friends only) this Sunday and I've found that I am eating junk food until that time. Not sure why, just am.

In analysing myself, I'm thinking it might be that I don't want to be too slim at the family gathering or it'll just attract too many unwanted comments. So that's my best guess at the moment. It's also TOM and the cravings are strong (though I'm pretty good at resisting cravings). I've had the sads recently too. I'm sad about my birthday (although very excited about the celebrations) and a whole bunch of other stupid stuff in my life.

I'm keeping strong in my mind that I have to get back on track solidly quick smart. There are health implications, there is the work it'll take to get the weight back off, and most of all the peer-pressure aspect - the fact that people will be able to notice the weight gain after a while and I don't want people to see that.

I weighed in at 86.2kgs this morning (roughly 3kg gain in three days. Ha!)

Celebrations are upon us

So my birthday party is only a few days later, and I want to look the best I possibly can.

I'm going clothes shopping tomorrow for a new outfit, after getting my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted. Also on Saturday I will start the day with eyelash extensions, then eyebrow wax (not enough time tomorrow), then getting my makeup professionally done and finally getting my hair coloured and styled. I'm going to look fabulous! The pic of Jessica Alba is the hair I'll be going for.

I'm looking forward to it!! Yay!!!!!

Current weight this morning is 83.5kgs.

Weekly Update

83.9kg!! That's my weigh in result for today!! I know it's a day late and should have been yesterday, but I forgot all about it and had breakfast before weighing in yesterday.

It's good news for a stressful week.

I've been getting a bit bored of the foods I'm making, so I haven't properly made my lunches for work.

So Friday I bought a chicken wrap - carbs in the wrap (I ask them to halve it), the processed cheese and the mayo), Saturday my bf cooked: sausages baked with curry paste and mashed potato. I got him to swap the mashed potato for mashed cauliflower. Carbs in the sausages. Monday I had no lunch at all to take to work - I went to the cafe at work and the options were a variety of sandwiches, bagels, sweet slices, etc. I was shocked. I'm actually pretty confident that I can find a low-ish carb option anywhere. I settled on a slice of spinach frittata, knowing it's likely they would have mixed flour in. Once I ate it, I found it had chunks of potato in it as well. :( I picked a few of them out but couldn't pick them all out - they were small and I would have been left hungry without lunch.

That aside, I was talking with the bf on the weekend about which image to put on my fb event. I thought I should put a pic of myself in the background (make it more personal). I took my current profile pic and was working on it, I asked my bf for my opinion. He said (as tactfully as he could) that he's never really liked that pic of me. I asked why, I thought it looked fine. He just said he doesn't think it's the best one of me. We started going through other pics of me to find one that would be better, and all the ones he picked out were 5 years old when I was at my 63kg goal weight. Then he added an off-hand comment that when he had a couple of overseas friends over (that I didn't actually meet because they were only here a couple of days and I was working) he showed them those photos so they knew what I looked like. The 5 year old ones. :(

I haven't been eating properly yesterday or the day before.

Only yesterday evening when my stomach was growling, did I put the two together. I think I'm not eating properly (which means skipping meals) because of those comments.....

Signs of being back on track

So this morning's weigh in was much more positive than last week's - I came in at 84.5kgs this morning. Yay!

I also had two BMs yesterday so I think that was helpful. As was the coconut cream that caused it :)

In terms of regaining my focus, I haven't done so well with that. I'm really trying to get my head into gear and that 'determined' feeling, but I guess that's a work in progress. So in the meantime I'm just making sure I eat on track. That's it. Each day I'm just making sure the meals I make are lc, and I keep away from processed and sugary foods. I don't feel like I have any kind of inner-strength right now, so really it's more of a practical feeling rather than an emotional one.

I'm going to stay on track. :)

Not great news

Well I haven't had an outstanding week since last update.

I was feeling nice and thin, getting lots of comments from people (which I'll mention more in a minute) so I weighed in early on Tuesday morning - 84.9kgs. Then official weigh in day, Wednesday - 85.4kgs. I highly doubt I gained half a kilo in a day. So I pushed it to Thursday to get my official weigh in for this week - 85.1kgs.

I have to stick with that one, so this week's official weigh in is 85.1kgs. That means I haven't lost any weight this week.

If my clothes were fitting looser, I would at least take solice in the idea that maybe I'm gaining weight and losing fat, and ultimately getting smaller. But that's not the case. I'm having to undo my work pants when I'm heading home at the end of the day.

Two factors that may help me get to the bottom of this mystery - I'm not keeping up with drinking two 1.5L of water during the day. I've moved offices which is further away from the filtered water tap and I'm really just being lazy not walking the extra distance to refill my bottle throughout the day. I have no good excuse for that. I am more than capable of walking further.

The other thing that might be playing a factor is I noticed twice this week after I ate a serving of chicken and prawn curry, I'm feeling bloated and have some pelvic pressure (a bit like 'TOM'). I don't know if that might be an issue. It might also be the Labrada drinks I have, but I hope not. I don't have them on the weekends or on my days off, which I've had a few of lately. No idea, but I hope not. I couldn't do a substantial breakfast without them ;)

I was at the gym on Thursday and my trainer noticed my weight loss, commented on it. She was very excited and asked if she could do my measurements on Friday. She knows I'm not huge on them, but she really wanted to get a good idea of how far I'd come. And she gets really happy when her clients are improved progress. I said that's fine, and we did them yesterday. Compared to the last time we did them - Dec 2010 - I have lost about 12kgs and 25cms. So that's good. The weight came in at 87kgs though, and my scales are in the 85kgs region. I understand the higher was taken at the end of the day whereas I take mine first thing in the morning. It's just not something that will improve the mood.

So I went out to dinner with friends last night, my options were several types of pastas, gnochi, parmas or crumbed stuff. I went with the best option I could find - piece of fish on a "cornflour zucchini fritter". I ate the lot, it was good. I was on a sugar high all night though lol.

Oh I forgot to mention I went out drinking on Saturday night - whiskey with pepsi max. Had too much, paid for it on Sunday. Didn't give in to munchies or anything. I was thinking on Sunday about food - you know, I am proud to say that I wasn't interested in any high carb foods. I seriously seriously want to lose this weight.

So that was last week. This week I'm losing a bit of determination. Instead of focusing on the 5.1kgs to the next minigoal, I've been thinking "gee, I have another 20kgs to go!".... I'm feeling overwhelmed by it all.

...

Mixed Week

OK so it's been a very stressful week. Almost every aspect of my life is affected by stressed and I spent yesterday in tears. Not over any one thing, just everything. The straw that broke the camel's back is my car breaking down. By itself, not a tear-worthy event. On top of everything, very fitting.

I weighed in yesterday morning and had my first GAIN. I came in at 85.6kgs. I calibrated my scales the other day though, so it's possible they were under-reporting. Not sure. Who knows. Whatever.

So I had a BM last night (well overdue) and weighed in this morning, got a nice figure of 85.1kgs. So that's a nice half-kilo BM (TMI, I know!!)

So I'm back to being pretty happy. Everything else sucks, but keeping my eating in check and the weight loss coming is keeping my mind strong. I think that's a really big achievement! From someone who usually throws their hands up in the air and decideds that 'it's just not the right time to be trying to lose weight', I'm so absolutely determined to get down to 63kgs that I know I would actually be ADDING stress to my life if I threw in the towel, rather than making myself feel better.

To help with the cravings I've had this week due to TOM, I've been having SF jelly with heavy cream. Yum!

Yep, the whoosh is confirmed

I am down another 700g this week. I'm super super happy with this progress! I came in at 85.5kgs this week.

I'm even happier because I had A BUNCH OF PROBLEMS TO DEAL WITH.

Let's start with Friday - I completely forgot to pack my lunch for work. So I went to the charcoal chicken and ordered a chicken wrap. It's a quarter of chicken off the bone (I asked to keep the skin but no stuffing thanks), lettuce, tomato, processed cheese and mayo, all wrapped in flat bread. I also asked for them to separate the two layers of the flat bread, and I only ate one layer. Not perfect, but ok.

Then later Friday I realised it's so close to my birthday that I seriously have to send out invitations. But where do I tell people it's being held? It's off to the Entertainment Book so I can try out places quick smart! I tried out a nice pub on Saturday, but going at 3pm meant we only had a restricted menu to choose from. And none of the options were wheat-free! I was surprised. Usually there's a caesar in there somewhere. So, I had tempure battered fish with salad (left the chips on the plate). I picked off most of the batter, maybe about 2/3 and ate the rest. It was quite nice, but that's high carbs two days in a row. And we haven't even got onto Sunday yet!

So on Sunday I ask if my rellies want to go out (to try out another place for my bday of course) for a quick meal at a local restaurant. But they were restricted in food too, and we went at 5.30pm! So anyway, they only had coffee and cake. Seriously. That's it. They did give us a small thing of mixed stuff - some nuts with soy sticks, sultanas and whatever else. So out of the four of us, I only ordered a pot of tea. Then the pushing came. "Here, have some of my sticky date pudding. Go on.." No! "Look I can't eat this, so you eat it" No! Oh, what is it? Berry compote with heavy cream. Hmmm ok. I'll have some. So berry compote (three spoons which gave me a sugar high) with heavy cream, and I must have picked out every single peanut from the bowl of mix they gave us.

Then the evening, I already had a pre-planned trip to another restaurant with the parents. Little did I know the only options were Tapas and Paela. What is wrong with this? Well besides the fact that paela is a bit like a Spanish risotto, the problem with tapas is it's supposed to be shared. So I might order one that is fine for me to eat, the others ordered crumbed cheesy zucchini flowers and meatballs. I wasn't able to order more than one - garlic prawns with a lovely sauce that I'm sure was thickened with cornstarch. And then I spent the rest of the evening subtley trying to pick all the meat bits out of the paela. And that's hard on the others (we shared the paela) because it's like I'm taking all the good bits FROM them.

This was the hardest weeekend I think I've ever had. One of the things I like about eating this way is I usually find eating out super easy!! But not this time.

I was so worried about it, I weighed in on Monday morning. When the number was down by a few hundred grams (can't remember exactly - I'm not a morning person) my mind was put to rest. But I've still eaten super clean since Sunday.

Whoosh?

Well after quite a few weeks with less-than-fantastic results, this morning I came in at 86.2kgs! That's a whole kilo down! Sooooo very happy!!

On the topic from last post, I'm still receiving comments on my weight loss. Two today, and two yesterday, alone. What do you say to that? Some people have been discreet, others yell "HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT?" across the corridors at work. Seriously, how do I react to that? Have a lengthy conversation yelling back across the corridor?

And the other issue... it may just be me but I honestly feel that discussing weight loss is the same as discussing a boob job. Ie. only with close friends and/or immediate family. That's it. It's not open for discussion with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Is that strange? Why do so many people seem to see this issue different to me?

And then the THIRD thing (hehehehe) is that I don't look like I have lost any weight! I can see my tummy isn't sticking out quite so much, but that's it. And the baggy uniform we wear at work should cover that up. So what are people noticing?????

And back to happier topics, the scale is moving the way I want it to :) I cheated a bit and had an early weigh-in yesterday morning... and I came in 400g higher than this morning! The change I made in response was I didn't have a Labrada drink yesterday at all. Not one. It was seriously hard - it's a great meal to have on the go when you're as busy as I am, and it satisfies any sweet cravings - but I did it. I don't know if that's the reason my weight was good this morning. Oh the other thing I have changed is I've seriously cut down my tomato consumption this week. I think it may have been getting a bit high. Can you say 'bolognese sauce with cheese'? I can... MmmMmmmMmmm ;)

Hmmm disappointing

I must say, I've been getting lots of comments from people about my weight loss recently. And each time I don't know what to say!

I'm sure everyone is just trying to be nice and thinks they're saying something complimentary, but it still strikes me as a really personal topic. I mean, isn't it like asking if someone has had a boob job?

Anyway, I've been lying and saying that I haven't noticed any weigh loss and my clothes fit the same. But thanking them for their comment all the same.

Of course in actual fact, I'm weighing in every week and I'm wearing a size down in my work uniform shirt. Wish I owned a size down in the pants, because every time I put something heavy in the pockets, they start to slip down.

So anyway, weigh in results.

So after spending a week listening to people commenting on my weight loss, and feeling nice and thin, I weighed in... I'm down 100g.

OK so it's not a gain, so that's good. But I must admit I was expecting something slightly more exciting. I was actually hoping for a whole kilo this time! ... but it wasn't to be.

I can't put the small loss down to anything specific either. I've been eating and drinking just fine. On Tuesday night I had to eat out because of too many appointments to get to, so I bought a lamb kebab and I ate around the bread. That should be fine, right? Unless they put something shifty in the garlic sauce.

General update

Just hanging around today. My plans today were cancelled last minute.

So I'm listening to Good Calories, Bad Calories. I bought the text version a few years ago, and got about 1/3 of the way through, but that's it. It's a hard read. I'm finding the audio book much easier to get through so far. This is a seriously fascinating book!!

Today I ate:
Lamb bolognese with tons of mushrooms and mexican spices instead of Italian spices, and cheese on top
Chicken & prawn curry I'm planning...

Yesterday I ate:
B - Labrada drink
L - Chicken & prawn curry
D - Onion and tomato egg scramble

The day before I ate:
B - Labrada drink
L - Chicken burrito filling
D - Tuna patties with caesar dressing and stir fried green beans

I haven't done any purely cardio exercise this year, I've been putting it off. I'm getting my energy back after my holidays though (when I OD'd on bread) so that is an awesome sign.

So in the mean time, I've been regularly going to either resistance/weights training, yoga, pilates and circuit training. Three times each and every week. It's fun :) I don't always feel like going when I'm on my way, but I always feel a bazillion times better afterwards.

I know I said my next min-goal is 85kgs but really it's 80kgs. My mind works better with decades ;)

Here's hoping this week's weigh in is a good one. I've been feeling much thinner the last few days

Weigh in

Alright so I have to update you on my little cheat last week.... it was worth it! I weighed in on Thursday (after a BM) and I came in at 87.9kgs. Not a huge loss, but it's a loss! I am happy :)

And even better this week! This morning I came in at 87.3kgs. That's a total loss so far of 15.9kgs!

Again, not a huge loss this week, but I'm sooo happy it's a loss.

I must admit I held a part on Saturday night and had countless Mojitos. Yum! I was able to get them made with:
Dark rum
Lemon juice
Fresh mint
Diet Coke
Bitters

So not toooooooo bad.... but I honestly prepared myself for a gain. Oh and I also have TOM! It's been hanging around for 1.5 weeks... which is very unusual for me. I'm usually very regular. So this is strange and worth noting.

So I've got a long TOM and reduced BMs. I'm also much thirstier than usual (but that's probably because it's summer lol).

I don't feel like I have lost anything over the past fortnight. I just don't feel thinner. But I'm happy the scale has gone down 800g in that time, and even when I've been doing resistance training.

So, here's hoping things improve over the next week. I'm due for a bit of a whoosh! :))))

Weigh in result

Well it's my first weigh in when I'm not particularly excited. I didn't gain weight, thankfully... but I didn't lose either. Came in at 88.1kgs again this morning.

I'm not unhappy about it, it's definitely much better than gaining, but it makes you look back at the past week and see if there was anything that could be improved.

There are a few things that could be possibilities...

1. TOM is on its way - spotting has begun, just waiting for it to properly arrive
2. I had Chinese on Friday ... and although I didn't have any rice or spring rolls, the veggies I had, had goop on them (which was probably made from cornstarch. In my defence, I did order stir fried and without goop, but I got goop)
3. I have introduced coconut oil to my diet for the first time, and had about 2tsp three times in the past week. Now the theory says this shouldn't result in any kind of weight gain, but it may be that my body is trying to adjust to this new food
4. I've been upping the resistance training and maybe I am gaining muscle
5. I've had several good weigh ins in a row, so it's only natural for my body to have a break every so often
6. I haven't had a BM in around 4 days

Who knows what the reason is. I can only hope that if I continue to eat well this week, I might have a better result next week :)

... ok and a slight cheat on my part... I'm going to do a mini weigh in tomorrow morning (had a BM tonight finally!)... it might still be the same, but I'm crossing my fingers my small dinner (calorie dense of course, just small in weight) might push it in my favour so I can get that excited feeling again. Wish me luck!!!

Good again

Well I could certainly get used to this... a good weigh in again today! I hope it keeps being good results :)

I came in at 88.1kgs today - which is 1kg down from last week. Woohoo!!

This week I have been trying to make sure that I really get a good amount of fat in because I've read quite extensively that it really gets the weight loss going.

My clothes are a little bit looser, but not that much. No-one around me has commented on any weight loss either. But it'll come :)

I kind of like it staying away at the moment, because people commenting on me can make me self consious.

Have a great week!!

Weigh in day .. a little late

Well today is a day after my usual weigh in day but I forgot all about it before I left yesterday morning.

Good news again! I now come in at 89.1kgs!!

So ... only 4.1kgs until I'm 85kgs! WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!

Eventually I will get until 70kgs, but that's a bit into the future. And I'm sure I'll have a bunch of obstacles rearing their ugly heads first as well. So for now, I'm pretty darn happy with the weigh ins at the moment.

Weigh In Day

Well it's my first proper weigh in for 2012.

I say that because my last weigh in wasn't a whole week, and was straight after my trip o/s. So a week of good eating has gone by and I come in at.... 90.2kgs!

Soooo close to the 80s again that I can SMELL IT!! ... not that I'm excited about it at all ;)

Back from holidays

Well I am back from holidays! Woohoo!!

I had a gorgeous time abroad, sitting on a tropical island sipping Mojitos.

Obviously the diet suffered. I went into the trip with so much optimism that I would be able to work with whatever I was given, etc, etc. Little did I know...

As I travelled in a large group (nine of us) food decisions were mostly made together. And I had NO idea how bread-focused everyone is! OMG... that was the biggest surprise of all. "As long as we have bread we are fine" is the attitude I faced. And who am I to tell them otherwise? I did go and buy 'better' bread (not fluffy white junk) but if I hadn't eaten it at all, I would have starved. Seriously. AND I would be considered selfish and rude to boot.

In all fairness, no-one knows I am following any kind of eating regimen. Barely anyone has noticed the 12kgs or so I had lost (past tense). But seriously, am I in the minority in not eating bread??? I've never been big on bread, even when I thought it was a perfectly healthy food. And I've had so much bread it's made me feel uneasy. And in true off-the-wagon style, I took the opportunity to have smoothies and cakes and lollies ;)

So, I got back and weighed myself the following morning - I gained 2.1kgs while away, and came in at 92kgs.

This morning, after a week of being back, I weighed it at 91.3kgs - so I've lost 700g of the gain. Fantabulous! And I've only been back on plan since Monday :)

So here's looking to recover my previous achievements and surpass them!!